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Sunday, 27 March 2016

A s**tty, dumpster diving, ambulance ride kind of day.

Some days just don't go as well as planned, or hoped for, and in the life of special needs parenting the realities of life can be quite different than what most people experience in a given day.  I don't know if it's the recent full moon or what but some of the children in this house have been way off, and their behaviours have just been bizarre.

Yesterday morning when walking into the youngest boys room there was the undeniable smell of feces, the stench was way worse than anytime they have both soiled their diapers overnight.  It did not take much investigation to determine a certain young man had been extremely creative with his feces, he had thrown it and it was stuck to the ceiling, he had finger painted everywhere with it - on/in his bed, on all of the walls, all over the carpet, on the door, on himself and all over his brother and his brothers bed.  There was feces everywhere, it is actually hard to believe that all that feces came from one small child.  I then started the cleanup which started with bathing the 2 young boys - both have severe sensory issues and bathing them is similar to trying to bath a feral cat.  Then onto the clean up, all the walls and ceiling needed to be sanitized.  All the bedding was put into the washer on the sanitary cycle and it was determined both mattresses were beyond ever being cleaned and needed to be replaced.  The carpet cleaner we were planning on buying in the future was also needed immediately to make the room habitable once again.  While all this was happening you would expect that the guilty party would be remorseful or even realize what he did was wrong but this child does not comprehend this at all.

Even after all of this, you should never think "your day can't get any worse or more bizarre" because around here an adult child, after eating a very large lunch is caught going through the dumpster, looking for food and then caught eating food that has gone bad.  He is not eating said food because there is a shortage or because he is hungry, it's because of his lack of impulse control.....he saw it so he must do it.

During all the day's events I was also receiving texts from another adult that struggles with mental health issues, especially when a stressful situation happens, and today he got a phone call regarding his outstanding phone bill.  This stressful situation resulted in texts throughout the day like Ï am done with life", "nothing in my life works out", "home and safe", etc.  Knowing that he can overwhelm extremely easily I respond with very simple, positive responses as that is all he is able to take in.  I tell him to use his tax return money to pay his phone bill, a simple manageable solution.  When I return home from purchasing the new mattresses and carpet cleaner, I ask him about his day?  He is still worked up and has a complete meltdown.  Hitting himself, clawing at his face, crying, destroying his sunglasses and saying he wants to kill himself.  I ensure all the younger children stay downstairs watching a movie with their older sister so we can deal with this young man without scaring anyone.  As he says he wants to kill himself, hubby phones for support, and the police and ambulance arrive quickly.  He agrees to going to the hospital and seeking more help (he has already been seeing mental health and getting support for a while now).  We call our amazing and very supportive respite provider and she comes to watch the younger kids, hubby continues with the planned activities with the older kids, and I spend the evening at the hospital helping our son be heard while he seeks more professional help.  Before leaving for the hospital I take time to ensure everyone is okay, the younger kids don't seem to notice that their brother left in the ambulance between the movie and excitment of the babysitter coming over and I talk with the older children as to why their brother is going for more help.

After all of this our son is released from the hospital with a new plan.  We are both starving so we grab take out, I send our son in to get the food so I have time to phone hubby taking time to lean on each other for support.  With these kinds of days, which fortunately don't happen often, it is important that hubby and I take time to look after ourselves and our relationship.  It's also a huge relief that we have built supports and plans that work to help us through these situations reducing the stress for everyone involved.  

7 comments:

  1. Wow what a day! Hope the rest of your week runs more smoothly!

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  2. You really had your hands full. What a blessing communication and patience is at a time like this. Thank you so much for linking at #overthemoon! I look forward to seeing what you share very week. Please come back for #WonderfulWednesday. Don't forget to comment your link #'s so I can be sure to visit.

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  3. Hang in there. I hope you all have a better week.

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  4. I am literally speechless. I don't know how you do it! #twinklytuesday

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  5. That was quite a "day in the life!" I hope and pray that this week has been going better for all of you!

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  6. I feel you. You are not alone. I have experienced all of that, just not in the same day. Wow. I know it's hard because it's overwhelming. It's too much for one person to do. Just make sure you get your "you" time. Pamper yourself. Make sure you sleep well (that's so important, from personal experience, trust me, IMPORTANT). Remember you are who all these people depend on, so you can't let yourself break from all this. You have to make sure you take care of yourself for their sake. I'm only saying this because I was there. I've been there. It's too easy to get lost in all the special needs and lose yourself. Too easy. And not many people understand. How could they? You can type it out, but they don't see what you truly experienced. I've actually had family criticize me on days like you had, "Why didn't you do the dishes? I don't understand why you didn't have time to do these dishes." Times like that I had to consciously remind myself that God made people stupid for a reason. The suicide part is so hard because people like that are ONLY suicidal during the meltdown. Some quick advice: With autism and autism related, communication skills are your keys to better behaviors. Young age: Basic speech and understanding. Older age: abstract communication like nonverbal things, understanding that talking is more than just getting a point across but also telling people what you want them to know and trying to figure out if you can trust what they are saying, don't speak long like Michelle is doing in this comment, keep things short, vague, and insincere because of attention spans and trust issues with whoever you are talking to... things like that. But as communication skills improve, meltdowns decrease because that's the thing adding to the frustrations, confusion and it's their healthy expression to release things before they stew into a meltdown. As for poop: This is the ONLY thing I can find that kills norovirus, and it disinfects everything else in 30 seconds. http://www.amazon.com/Clorox-Healthcare-Hydrogen-Disinfectant-Norovirus/dp/B00C2UGRLM?ie=UTF8&psc=1&redirect=true&ref_=oh_aui_detailpage_o04_s00

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  7. What a day you had. This is one of those days when you get to the end of your rope and tie a knot in the end to hang on. Thank you for adding this to DifferentDream.com's Tuesday special needs link up.

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