Scarce programing for special needs leads to creative thinking!

For most having a child become an adult is an exciting time with the young adult venturing out into the world and thoughts of an empty nest for the parents.  When your child has special needs this can be a very challenging time, now what are they going to do?  We now have 3 in this category and it's difficult, the schools, clubs and activities they once attended no longer welcome them as a participant now that they are an "adult".  They don't have the prerequisites required for college, university or a job.  Their peers are venturing out, starting their adult life while they are at home wondering what has happened.  With the current state of funding being cut and not enough resources to go around we have needed to be creative and combine options to help fulfill our children's days and our requirements.  We have a rule in our family that you are up by 7:30am during the week and doing something productive that does not include video games, television or naps.

For 2 of our adults we were able to take advantage of the extremely well hidden information in the provicinal education program policy. (I really recommend reading the policies of any program your children are in and make sure you know your rights and options)

 To be eligible, Adult non-graduate students with special needs must be working towards goals set out in their Individual Education Plan (IEP) and:

• have been reported on the Form 1701 in the prior school year (i.e. they are continuing their K-12 education program uninterrupted from when they were still school age), and;
• be continuing their program at the same school (i.e. they are continuing their K-12 education program uninterrupted at the same school leading towards a B.C. Certificate of Graduation, the B.C. Adult Graduation Diploma or the School Completion Certificate Program from when they were still school age).

The public schools around here usually fight this policy but being a homeschool family this enables them to continue having a funded education support person (at home), therapies and programs.  The policy doesn't state a time limit and we are currently on year 2 with one adult and hope to continue as adult special needs funding is scarce for other programs.  In addition to school funding we were able to secure a position for one adult in a day program twice a week, another adult was able to gain funding for a support person for 12 hours per week and the third adult we are still working towards funded support.

We have decided to mix up their learning this year to reflect their desire to earn and income and continue learning the K-12 education.  With their support workers/education assistants we are working on income generating projects, for the last month part of the day includes craft making and attending various craft fairs.  With the help of Pinterest I have been able to come up with crafts that don't take a huge amount of skill or expense that have become profitable.  With the speed that our adults work and their limited abilities they will not be able to earn an imcome sufficient to live on however they are able to earn spending money and have a huge sense of accomplishment.  The adults are making projects, working out costs to produce items, figuring out mark up and determining a sale price.  They are also working on their social and sales skills while at various craft fairs/markets and also handling money and making change.  Bread making is another venture we are trying with the hope of selling to friends and family and in the spring we hope to add a gardening unit.

Do you have any business or employment ideas for the unskilled and in need of one on one support individuals?  What are your adult children doing during the day?

Hockey, swimming and Special Olympics

With the close of this season of sports, our young adults involved in Special Olympics have been participating in the end of season competitions.I really like Special Olympics, all the people there are so loving and accepting, having been too many local practices and then competitions with multiple teams I believe this is the way most of the groups are.  This applies to the many dedicated volunteers and the athletes alike.  There aren't to many places that you can walk into that everyone, even strangers, are excited to see you and will come up and give you a hug.

Ring hockey recently had a tournament and then a fun game against our local junior hockey team.  At the tournament they played against multiple teams unfortunately the teams were all ranked higher than them and they didn't really have a chance.  The wide point spread didn't seem to deter any of their effort or enthusiasm while playing.  The week after their tournament they had a game with local junior hockey team as a fundraiser to support their team.  The young men from the junior hockey team were amazing with our athletes.  They played to the teams level, maybe even slightly under, yet didn't make it obvious, engaged our team team and thoroughly seemed to enjoy playing against our team.  When either team scored a goal, which didn't happen often for the guest team, everyone (didn't matter what team you were on) was giving high fives, much to the surprise of our guests.

The kids also participated in a swim meet recently and we were completely surprised when our daughter came home with a 1st and 2nd place ribbon.  Each athlete had the opportunity to sign up too race in what stroke and length of swim they felt able to compete in.  Everyone that attends practice for whatever sport is able to participate in the competitions and everyone has the opportunity to participate the same amount.  The cheering was incredibly loud for every swimmer as the other participants encouraged one another.  It was amazing too see athletes that really seem to struggle with their limited mobility on land, get into the water and enjoy competing no matter what their ability level.  It did not matter whether they won or lost they participated, everyone cheered for them and they were proud of their accomplishment.

In our area some of the athletes participate in every sport available but for our young adults we limit them to 2 per season as we try to keep a balance with everything in our life.  I strongly encourage you to check into Special Olympics if you have someone in your life that would benefit from joining or if you are sports minded and willing to volunteer your time.  For now we are heading into softball and soccer season so you will see at the fields.

Tonight's evening has a "Publication Ban"

The balancing act of parenting seems to take more effort for our family as the gap between ages and needs becomes more evident.  Having a large family comprised of both adoptive children with many special needs and birth children the gaps between their abilities seems to increase over the years. 

13 years ago when we adopted for the first time we had 5 biological children ranging in age from 5-12 and the 2 we adopted first were 6 and 11.  At that time both presented with delays but the 11 year old was functioning higher than our then youngest and the children and their differing abilities blended together.  As life evolved we adopted multiple times and the differing abilities tended to blend together up until we adopted our youngest 7, and around the same time that our older children were becoming adults. 

Now that some of our children have become adults the gaps have really become evident.  We have adult children that have graduated college or are attending college/university, ones living on their own, married and with children.  We also have adults that live at home, need a care provider when we are out, need reminders for....well almost everthing, have extreme behaviour challenges, developing mental health issues, etc.  We have adult children that require more supervision now than when they were adopted, due to later onset mental health issues, and they require more supervision than our 3 year old (with significant delays).  We also have our youngest sibling group which have abilities that you would expect for children 10 years old and younger. 

One challenge we have been finding lately is when we are planning an activity with the adult children, not everyone functions as an adult.  Sometimes we want a drama free adult evening or activity were we can all have fun together.  We don't always want to deal with the constant stress and mental health challenges.  Sometimes the adult kids want their Mom and Dad, sometimes they want an activity were they are the center of attention, sometimes we just all need a break.  Don't get me wrong, we truly love all of the family, and the majority of the family activities include everyone, however sometimes not everyone is invited.  We also understand that the individuals in the family with these extra challenges don't have control over some of their issues and if they thought that they are causing stress for us or that we needed a break from them it would upset them.

Recently we had a group gathering with some of the family and everyone that was attending was discrete about attending.  Everyone that attended left home at different times, with different stories about where they were going, the babysitter didn't even know that everyone was together.  We imposed a publication ban on any pictures that were taken.  We feel bad that we need to sneak out but also need to consider everyone else's feelings.  How would you handle this?  Would you have an all or none approach, risking adults refusing to attend?  Would you add further stress to the adults suffering already with special needs and mental health issues and tell them the family needs a break from them?

What??? But I didn't say anything!!!! - Non Verbal communication

It's all about the non verbal communication around here.  A couple of our young adults have been struggling with the way they respond to situations in their lives, not understanding that their actions tell a completely different story than the words coming out of their mouths. Employers, teachers, friends and family are reacting to the non verbal response and the young adults are completely baffled because they didn't say "anything".

For example when asked to wipe down the table, as she failed to complete the whole job when doing the dinner dishes.  Nothing was said verbally but the book that was being read is slammed down on the table, a large sigh was released, rolling eyes, stomping into the kitchen to grab a cloth, more crashing and banging, then a partial cleaning of the table happens.  Those that aren't able to ignore their responses are offended, scared or nervous.  The other day one of our children's workers did not know how to respond after a similar negative response and was concerned for her safety.  I realize that a degree of this behavior is common with teenagers but our young adults are not teenagers and they are taking this behavior to a whole new level.

We have been upping our social skill lessons around here hoping that eventually it will click with them that most people find these behaviors offensive.  It is hard when the adults in question can't read other peoples non verbal responses so they don't understand they are giving off similar messages.

We have been studying facial expressions making note that most of the emotional information is carried in the shape of the mouth and the eyebrows.  Collecting pictures from magazines, photo albums and the internet we have been playing games labeling the emotion portrayed. Using mirrors we have been looking at our faces trying to make different expressions.  Once determining the emotion and getting better at this game then we added in the fact that each emotion has many degree's within that emotion ie from feeling happy to estatic or mad to raging.

Body language also has a role in our study noting that posture, gestures and movement also carry information about people's emotions.  Tone of voice is also being considered as it also conveys at least as much information as the actual words that are being said.  Being able to accurately read voice tone allows us to judge whether a person is angry, sad, happy, tired or scared - it also gives critical information about whether the person means what they say (are they being sarcastic? joking? sincere? teasing? friendly or unfriendly?)

By playing games, charades, and watching people (either from a distance or on television without sound) we have been practicing reading people's communication.  I am looking for ideas if you have any suggestions on teaching this valuable but complicated skill, please leave a comment.

Schooling options....what works for you?

We as a society are fortunate that there are so many options available for schooling our children and if one program doesn't fit your child's needs you are free to try something different.

Over the years we have had many go through the public system and it has worked well for some of them.  This year we do not have any in the public system which  in a way is fortunate as the teachers are currently involved in contract negotiations and school isn't expected to open for a while.

For some of our children with special needs we found they were able to be better supported if we home schooled them.  With the program we are enrolled with the "home school" has access to the provincial special needs education funding.  With the use of this funding the parents are able to direct how they would like the money allotted to support their child.  The parents can request therapies, special education assistants, therapy equipment, activities, resources, etc. This home school program is also able to receive special needs funding for our adult learner providing extra support for working on life skill training.


Some home school programs have a combination of home and face to face opportunities.  The school we are enrolled with has this option and the face to face programs range from academic classes to supplemental field trips.  As a family you are free to choose what works for your child.  We have been able to choose to send our child to activities that they are successful with and keep them home for extra one on one support with the challenging subjects.  We feel the children are getting the best of both worlds by having the benefits of being in a class and the added support of home.

This year, like last year, we will be home schooling 8 children with a range of special needs.  We have 3 special education assistants hired that will come into our home and work along side me schooling the children.  The children will also receive weekly speech, physical and occupational therapy supports.  Other supports they will be receiving include vision therapy, therapeutic horse back riding, private swim lessons, art therapy and therapeutic equipment.

The school provides a special needs teacher that helps select curriculum that is appropriate for the child, prepares the IEP and report cards.  The school with the parents hire the education staff and the school looks after the staff training and other staff issues that may arise.  The parent is responsible for the planning, implementing, overseeing and teaching along side the education assistants.

This weekend I will be busy organizing and setting up our learning areas, planning out our days and getting ready for back to school.  I have been researching hands on projects to match up with our learning outcomes and it looks like we will be having a fun year.  The first day of school for the teens is a retreat to a local summer camp where they will meet up with their school friends for games, water sports and lots of fun.

Duct tape and cats don't mix.....keeping special needs adults busy

Keeping our 18 and 19 year old children with significant special needs busy for the summer has taken a lot of planning on our part.  If not pushed and encouraged to do something one would sit and stare at the walls all day long and the other would be getting into all kinds of trouble.  There is the added challenge, that although they are both adults, neither function anywhere near their age.

Obtaining employment is not an option for either, at this time in their lives so it takes some creative planning.  Both will be continuing with high school come September in a life skill program.

We are fortunate enough to have a wonderful respite person who takes the 2 children out twice a week 5 for 5 hours each day.  During this time they are learning/practicing life skills.  They have been learning how to use the public transit system, they are learning budgeting and shopping skills, and social skills.  During this time they have been to museums, tourist attractions, hiking, shopping, the library, etc.  They are expected to plan and prepare for each activity.  Both are expected to pack their own lunch before their outing and this has been a huge learning curve for both.

At home we have been encouraging learning and teaching hobbies that will keep them busy and hopefully teach them some skills that may carry over as ongoing hobbies.  The hobbies are simple ones as their abilities are challenged.  Pinterest has been a huge help in finding activities to keep them busy.  Both have a raised garden bed that they are caring for, our son has been building all kinds of creations with Lego and our daughter is trying to learn how to play the guitar.

Today we have been making Duct tape wallets, we found directions here.  Both were kept busy for a couple hours making their first wallet.  The older of the 2 was getting frustrated with the stickiness of the tape (so was the cat that always wants to participate) and the other enjoyed this task so much that he made another.  They did some gardening, caring for their garden beds.  And later in the day they baked some chocolate chip cookies with supervision.

People with special needs need a lot of teaching and re teaching and it is helpful if this happens in an enjoyable way that doesn't feel like work.  We continue to search out activities that keep them active and productive while building on their skills.  Do you have an activity/hobby that may be of interest to them?  Please share.