Petitioning for a 30 hour day!

With the business of life everyone is trying to find ways to save time or be more efficient.  We have found a few things that work for us:

Meal planning - in order to save time and money it is essential for our family to plan ahead.  Before planning our meals each week we take a look at the calendar and consider the time available each day for meal prep.  Once we have determined what the week looks like we plan meals accordingly.  On days that we are running from one appointment to the next dinner will be cooked in a crockpot, a quick barbecue or maybe a pre made casserole.  I can't express how much of a relief it is to walk in the door after a crazy day and dinner to be ready to serve. 

Doing the prep work for meals can be done anytime, it does not have to be done the hour before dinner, so take advantage of the time you have.  Review your meal plan and try to simplify your meal prep by combining tasks required for the weeks meals.  We also will "double" certain meals and freeze the second one to enjoy on a different day.  We will also cook meals with the plan of having leftovers for lunch the next day.  

Pack ahead - with many weekly activities we have to pack/prepare for the daily events.  We pack once, after the activity we repack the bag for the next week eliminating the weekly search for the required gear.  We have swim lessons (for 6 children) weekly so our swim bag is packed and ready to go - when we return everything is thrown in the laundry then returned to the swim bag for next week.  For activities that require uniforms we store all the parts together in a suit bag, building routines for caring for the uniforms saves time in the long run. 

 Taming the housework - keeping the home looking presentable can also be challenging and a huge drain on time.   Really in order to keep your home clean your options are somewhat limited, don't live in it so it can't get messy, clean it or have someone else clean it.  We do multiple mini clean ups throughout the day, by doing many cleanups the house doesn't get to out of control.  Everyone that is capable of making a mess is capable of helping clean up.  We get up, get dressed and do a quick bedroom clean up.  After breakfast we clean up and put dishes in dishwasher.  We continue the trend of cleaning up as we go throughout the day, it doesn't have to be perfect but done often enough will stay fairly clean.  Using "Lysol wipes" to quickly wipe down the counter and toilet in the bathroom a couple times a day keeps it presentable, I usually do this after using the bathroom and make a point of alternating which bathroom I use.  Also a "scheduled" chore time is helpful for ensuring everyone is an active participant.  At our house after dinner for about 20 minutes everyone has a chore, Mom and/or Dad help and ensure everyone does their assigned chore.  We also have clear expectations typed out so everyone knows what needs to be done, this is handy when ensuring the task is complete to our standards.

 Dishes -  we cut back on the number of glasses/cups being used daily by having a shelf for people to store their cups between drinks.  We also wash dishes as we are prepare meals which makes for a quicker final cleanup.                                                                                                                                          

Laundry is a never ending challenge as the "laundry monster" takes over so that will be a separate post.

I am sure that you have little things that help save you time throughout the day, please share them so we can all benefit.

Inclusive outside play

I love this time of year, getting outside this spring is a very welcome activity after a long cold, wet, dreary winter.  It is an added bonus, after an extended cycle, of multiple daily seizures, that just didn't seem to want to stop for one child.  Getting outside and playing does wonders for childhood development.   With our developmentally delayed children getting out and playing helps master skills that the physical and occupational therapists are working on with the child but the best part is their happy smiles.

With multiple needs within our family sometimes it takes getting creative so everyone can enjoy outside play.  At home we have built our play area trying to meet everyone's needs.

We included activities for the mobility impaired - a wheelchair accessible sensory table provides endless hours of fun.  An outdoor "music" play area, a chalkboard, easel, special needs swings and a tether ball.  How about an outdoor garden that your child can sit at for hours of imaginative play?  We made this one adding landscape details around a variety of small toys.

Our playground has also been "overbuilt" for added strength.  Having young adult children that are cognitively functioning much younger means they still want to "play".  Swings that support an adult, a trampoline, bars high enough off the ground for an adult to hang from (but safe enough for younger children), a rock climbing wall and a climbing cargo net.

All of these adaptions have been added over time and make for a playground that can be enjoyed by everyone.  What have you done to encourage play with your children?
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Red lights and Sirens

When adopting a child into your family you need to consider that they may have had traumatic events in their past which could result in a variety of fears.  A few of our children were scared of anyone in a uniform and all emergency response vehicles, the sight or sound of either would put them into a state of panic.  The children although older in age were unable to tell us why they were fearful, but after piecing together their past we were able to come up with some ideas.

Helping the children with these fears meant teaching them that the emergency personnel and their vehicles are there to help us, along with working through the personal issues that happened, creating these fears.  We made a point of putting our children in positive situations where emergency personnel were present.  These situations ranged from going to our local garage where the police and fire vehicles are repaired and just walking near the vehicles, to arranging visits at the police, ambulance and fire departments, to attending Emergency Preparedness fairs and other community events.

At the most recent Emergency Preparedness fair we attended, we toured the ambulances, sat in the fire trucks, and met the police and their dogs.  Firefighters taught the children how to use a fire extinguisher and they had the opportunity to extinguish a fire.

  There was a group teaching road safety and the children were able to ride peddle cars while practicing their skills.  We also met the search and rescue people and learnt a little about what they do.                             

This was a fun non-threatening way to interact with people they once feared.  How have you helped your children work through their fears?             

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The plan is not to scar the innocent

Going most places with our 3 year old is a challenge that usually results in him banging his head on the concrete floor, blood curdling screams and flailing of his body.  He is a small boy with complex challenges including cognitive challenges, sensory processing disorder, autism, seizures, etc.  So what is a person to do?  Staying home is not an option as we have multiple children that "want a life" and our boy isn't going to learn skills to be able to cope if he doesn't practice.

Today's trip is to the aquarium but gone are the days of just jumping in the vehicle and going.  We chose the aquarium because the lighting is low and the atmosphere is generally calm.  If you think about it the aquarium is like a natural sensory room.  First step was to phone the aquarium and find out the quietest times for visiting.  This is essential for 2 reasons - firstly we want the least amount of stress/stimulation for our children and secondly if any do resort to their coping behavior we do not want to scar too many innocent people in the process.

We arrive at the aquarium well rested, as taking overtired children anywhere is not fun, especially children with complex needs.  Everyone eats a little snack, has a drink and either uses the toilet or has their diaper changed before we unload the vehicle.  2 wheelchairs and a couple strollers later we are ready for the aquarium.  We have our "sensory dulling bag" with us - this includes earplugs, sunglasses and wet wipes (in case anybody needs their hands cleaned).  All the kids with sensory issues have fleece sweaters with hoods in case it is windy getting into the desired location.

What a great time, there was only a couple other people at the aquarium while we were there and the staff were so helpful.  We had only one minor issue on the elevator that is set up like a submarine going into the depths of the ocean.  One child was scared of the sounds and shaking of the elevator cling tightly to Mom but was able to calm down quickly.  Some of the kids played a game learning how scientists do "eel grass studies" while others admired the fish.  Those that were interested created a "mosaic whale craft" and then we proceeded to the aquariums for touching the sea life.  Only those interested touched the sea life and then it was time for home.  This trip went amazingly well, we didn't traumatize anyone with our extreme behavior but we did manage to shock a few employees with the size of our family.

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Kids Learn to Fish

One of the many things that I love about the arrival of spring, is the many community events.  I regularly read the newspaper looking for events of interest and also try to locate events that may add to the children's schooling.  Yesterday we attended a "Kids Learn to Fish" event which is held annually in a neighboring community. We got up in the morning, I told the kids we would be going on an adventure and off we went. Normally I would have given them a lot of prep time and listed out exactly what we would be doing but as the weather didn't look the greatest I didn't want to get their hopes up if it didn't work out.   Out of the 9 children that attended with me only 2 had ever tried fishing so this was something different for most.

At this event they had many booths set up teaching a variety of skills.  They also had St John Ambulance their in case of an emergency, this was especially neat because 2 of my adult children where there as volunteers.  It is touching to me that events that my children attended years ago they are now volunteering at so others can have the same enjoyment they did.  

First we practiced casting with fishing rods - the fishing rods had small balls on the end of the line instead of hooks and they had a variety of targets that you could aim for as you practiced casting. We moved around to many booths learning a variety of skills - fish identifications, understanding fishing regulations, fly tying, knot tying etc.

 We then worked our way down to the lake where they had well stocked tanks of trout immersed into the lake off of the dock.  There were many volunteers that helped the children put their new fishing skills to work and they each had the opportunity to fish. By the time we got to fishing it had really started raining hard but 4 were still up to fishing.  Within about 10 minutes all 4 had caught their first fish.  The kids with sensory issues were  not eager to touch the fish, luckily they had a bucket for us.  They even gutted the fish before we brought them home.  

After completing all the events they had a kids "fish pond" where the kids won a variety of prizes.  One of our children won her own "fishing rod" which was very exciting.

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What's expected, creating expectations

When your child has special needs, especially sensory processing issues, it can be difficult for them to go out in public.  Trying to process the varying sensory inputs of new locations sometimes comes back as extreme behavioural issues. Over the years with our children we have needed to try different techniques to lessen the difficult behaviours, making getting out more manageable.

Help your loved one by letting them know what to expect.  By taking time to prepare for an event your child knows what to expect and has time to practice suitable behaviour.  Use calendars and visual schedules so your child can mentally prepare for what is coming up in their life.  At our home we have a calendar that lists all activities for the family, and a few of the children study it multiple times per day.  We then take "tomorrow's information" and record it on a whiteboard so it can be reviewed at dinner and then again a breakfast. Sometimes more reinforcement is required as transitions are still an issue so we use a hourly schedule with visuals.

For some activities more preparation is required, going to the dentist has been a big issue for a couple of our children.  To make challenging outings more manageable we will read stories about the activity, make up our own social stories or watch videos about the intended activity.  Do some role play or play a game that will help understand what the activity will be like and teach appropriate behavior that is expected. We also practice/discuss/role play what to do when feeling uncomfortable with the situation.  If it's too loud, teach them to cover their ears or provide the child with earplugs or earmuffs.  Too bright or busy, try sunglasses or a ball cap.  If the situation is too stressful, maybe biting something appropriate (not their sister), chewing gum, a fidget activity or weighted item will help.  Brainstorm what the trigger may be and what the child is feeling then look for simple solutions.

Look for the best time for participating in a chosen activity.  When is the best time of day for the child? When is the most desirable time for the activity?  Phone and ask when the quietest time is?  Ask if they have any options for people with special needs?  They may have preferred pricing for a support person, maybe a different place to line-up for someone who cannot wait.  I always phone and explain my child's needs and see if they have options to help them.  If your child fatigues easily bring a wheelchair, stroller or chair so you can provide needed breaks.  When possible bring an extra support person. If you have multiple children and one that may not be able to fully participate this will make the day more enjoyable.

If your child gets bored easily give them a job or activity to do so they have something concrete to focus on.  You could give them a map or list and have them responsible for a task.  Give them a camera and make them the designated photographer for the activity.  Sit with the child in the planning stages and brainstorm some things they would like to learn and have them find the answers at the activity.  I always bring small snacks and water as this can be a distraction to extend the time spent at the chosen activity.

Try to keep the activity positive so you can build on it.  If your child experiences short positive trips they will be more eager to try longer trips.  If they have difficulty with activities practice that activity in small increments.  We have gone to the grocery store to practice walking into the store and then built up to walking up and down the isles without grabbing things.  If your child has trouble with an activity do many short trial runs practicing expected behaviour and by scheduling it as practice time you will have more patience to teach expected behaviour.

Also remember it is okay not to take your child places, if it is too much for your child and its something you want to attend find a babysitter.  Leaving your child with a babysitter can be a nice break for both you and your child.

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Black and White thinking

Today our adult daughters felt it was time to continue the tradition of taking their younger teenage sister out to buy her first pair of "thong" underwear.  This "tradition" started about 6 years ago with our first daughter feeling her sisters underwear was not "cool enough".  This has now become a tradition with the girls of the family, when you are old enough your sisters take you to buy you new "cool" underwear.

After a day in town the girls come home after finding the perfect pair.  This may have been fine if the said teenager was not diagnosed with FASD.  Upon arriving home she feels it necessary to scare her older brothers by showing them her new "thong" and the best way for a modest girl to do this was to put the "thong" on over top of her jeans.  You would think that having seen so many "thongs" hanging out of many girls pants you would know how to wear one.  This was not the case and the "thong" is on backwards over the jeans, it must go this way because "the tag always goes in the back".  After an explanation of how to wear the underwear and a description of why the tag was put on the front (no room to sew a tag on that small piece of elastic at the back) she has it over top of her jeans in the correct direction and the scaring of her brothers ensues.

The next morning comes and it is time to wear the underwear for the first time.....just cannot get it through her head that the tag is in the front.....when you get dressed the tag always goes in the back.  It is time to remove the tag on the underwear as it should not be this complicated to put on your underwear on.

A lot of people struggle with having "black and white thinking"  meaning it is either black or white, right or wrong, the truth or a lie and there is no room for grey or a little white lie.  When you think of our society we have a lot of "grey areas" which makes it difficult for people with these challenges - people struggling with autism, FASD, etc.  For these individuals it's not always as easy as cutting out the tag in a pair of underwear to change the thinking.

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