Teaching your child to self advocate, stand up for their rights and stand up for others is incredibly important. A child that can stand up for them self will be less likely to be bullied, will have more self confidence and be more likely to participate in activities. We have encouraged our children to stand up for themselves and others around them from a very young age.
Self advocacy is learning to speak up on your behalf and ask for what you need in a straight forward manner. When advocating you learn to take charge and be more independent. It's communicating your needs and wishes and it's knowing your rights and standing up for them.
Start early to let your child become as independent as possible. Let them take on responsibilities and experience consequences. This means that you are going to need to step back and give your child the opportunity to make choices/decisions for themselves even if it's not the choice you would make.
Teach your child their rights and responsibilities. How can you expect them to stand up for themselves if they don't know what their rights are? Every place your child will go has rights that are there for their safety and protection - rights as a citizen, medical rights, education rights, employment rights, rights for clubs and activities, etc. Also encourage your child to become informed about topics that may affect them - follow the news, attend meetings and read. If your child is standing up for something they should be informed.
Ensure your child knows how to politely and respectfully advocate for their needs. Quite often adults do not appreciate hearing that they are doing something wrong but are more willing to accept this if done with respect.
One of my daughters, at the age of 12 years old, had a teacher that punished students for misbehaving by having them do push-ups. My daughter knew her rights and the rights of her classmates (from studying the Canadian Charter of Rights and Freedoms) and decided to take it up with the teacher. She politely asked to speak privately with the teacher in the hallway. The teacher was shocked for being called out about her discipline methods but impressed by the way my daughter handled the situation (we heard this from multiple teachers after the said teacher discussed this event in the staff room). This would not have gone over nearly as well if she had brought it up in front of the class.
Be aware that you are a role model for your child. How do you advocate for yourself and others around you? Do you present yourself in a manner that you would be happy seeing come from your child?
Support your child in their advocating. When your child comes home and says "I had a problem with....." Listen to your child and discuss how they handled the situation. Give feedback and ask them if they want your help. Maybe your help is giving them suggestions of the next step or maybe it is you following up on their behalf.
Teach the chain of command - if your child has an issue that cannot be resolved ensure that they know where they can go next for help.
Self advocacy is a critical skill for our children to learn which will help them achieve their goals, increase self sufficiency and become successful adults. While learning these skills your child may handle situations in a manner that might not be ideal (to you). They may learn skills that overtime will need to be tweaked or toned down. There have been many occasions that one or two of our children have come home and said something like "I led a school walkout today, I started a petition, I had a problem with an educations assistant at the bus stop and now need to phone the school principal or that delivery drivers driving made me uncomfortable I am going to phone the company office". When hearing comments like these sometimes fear does overcome me but I take a deep breath, hear them out and stand behind them offering support.
Shared at http://www.lovethatmax.com/
http://www.faithfulmomof9.com/
Wednesday, 30 April 2014
Friday, 25 April 2014
18 children....one of each
When first becoming a parent I did not even consider that a huge part of the job description was going to be advocating for my child and how much that would entail. This part of my parenting role became more important and much larger over time between children being diagnosed with special needs and accessing school and their community.
Become an expert about your child's disability
In order to teach others about your child's needs you need to understand their strengths and weaknesses. You need to know strategies that help your child compensate for his or her weaknesses. Keep in mind the uniqueness of your child although they may have a "common diagnosis" they are still individually affected by their challenges. We commonly tell people we have 18 children.... one of each, when describing their challenges even though many have overlapping diagnosis.
Know your child's rights
Be informed about your rights in the subject you are advocating - whether you are advocating at school, the doctors or in the community all these places have rules they must follow so as a parent do your research. "Google" is my best friend when it comes to finding out mine and my child's rights.
Document, document, document
Having accurate easy to access documentation of your child's medical information, assessments, education plans, report cards, etc is extremely important. We keep all information regarding each child organized in a binder that can be easily transported to any meeting. By having all the information organized we appear more professional and competent which helps when all you want is support for your child.
Make notes summarizing any interactions with professionals regarding your child so you can always refer back. Document what the next steps or follow up actions that were agreed upon. When making phone calls document the time and date even if you are leaving messages. If you have requests where applicable put these in writing and allow for written responses so you create a paper trail. This paper trail will become necessary if you don't get the desired results and need to advocate at a higher level.
Keep your emotions in check and keep on topic
When meeting about your child have clear goals in mind and keep bringing the meeting back to those goals. I have found that the professionals at meetings frequently use distraction as a way of not dealing with the issues, keep on topic, be the "broken record" bring the conversation back to your goals.
Understandably discussing your child's needs can be extremely emotional but when advocating for your child you need to keep your emotions in check. If you get so worked up that you can't talk or are crying you have done the professional a favor and got yourself of topic.
As a parent you are your child's number one advocate when the teachers, doctors and other professionals go home at the end of the day you will still be there with there. Remember you know your child best and the professionals are there to help.
Shared at http://www.lovethatmax.com/
http://www.faithfulmomof9.com/
http://theadoptionsocial.com/category/weekly-adoption-shout-out/
http://www.mumsnet.com/bloggers/plug-your-post-april?utm_campaign=Bloggers
Become an expert about your child's disability
In order to teach others about your child's needs you need to understand their strengths and weaknesses. You need to know strategies that help your child compensate for his or her weaknesses. Keep in mind the uniqueness of your child although they may have a "common diagnosis" they are still individually affected by their challenges. We commonly tell people we have 18 children.... one of each, when describing their challenges even though many have overlapping diagnosis.
Know your child's rights
Be informed about your rights in the subject you are advocating - whether you are advocating at school, the doctors or in the community all these places have rules they must follow so as a parent do your research. "Google" is my best friend when it comes to finding out mine and my child's rights.
Document, document, document
Having accurate easy to access documentation of your child's medical information, assessments, education plans, report cards, etc is extremely important. We keep all information regarding each child organized in a binder that can be easily transported to any meeting. By having all the information organized we appear more professional and competent which helps when all you want is support for your child.
Make notes summarizing any interactions with professionals regarding your child so you can always refer back. Document what the next steps or follow up actions that were agreed upon. When making phone calls document the time and date even if you are leaving messages. If you have requests where applicable put these in writing and allow for written responses so you create a paper trail. This paper trail will become necessary if you don't get the desired results and need to advocate at a higher level.
Keep your emotions in check and keep on topic
When meeting about your child have clear goals in mind and keep bringing the meeting back to those goals. I have found that the professionals at meetings frequently use distraction as a way of not dealing with the issues, keep on topic, be the "broken record" bring the conversation back to your goals.
Understandably discussing your child's needs can be extremely emotional but when advocating for your child you need to keep your emotions in check. If you get so worked up that you can't talk or are crying you have done the professional a favor and got yourself of topic.
As a parent you are your child's number one advocate when the teachers, doctors and other professionals go home at the end of the day you will still be there with there. Remember you know your child best and the professionals are there to help.
Shared at http://www.lovethatmax.com/
http://www.faithfulmomof9.com/
http://theadoptionsocial.com/category/weekly-adoption-shout-out/
http://www.mumsnet.com/bloggers/plug-your-post-april?utm_campaign=Bloggers
Monday, 21 April 2014
Easter crafting
It was a rainy Easter weekend here but we still had a lot of fun. With family visiting and staying we did not venture far from home. We had our Easter family dinner on Saturday and also celebrated Gran's 70th birthday. There was lots of time spent cuddling our granddaughters, visiting our parents, adult children, their spouses and dogs.
We also spent a lot of time at the table dying eggs, making crafts and decorating cookies over the last few days.
Toilet Paper roll crafts(above)
We also spent a lot of time at the table dying eggs, making crafts and decorating cookies over the last few days.
Egg dying (above)
Working on fine motor skills (above)
- print off a simple coloring page from the internet - have the child paint it and then cut it out if able
-cotton balls and eyes to bring bunny to life
-draw a simple tree shape and then practice "pincher grasp" crumpling tissue paper for blossoms then glue
-easter basket filling for grass
And some beautifully decorated cookies.(above)
Saturday, 19 April 2014
Our family has expanded.....again
We have a new 4 legged addition to our family! Our new puppy is a 8 week old silver lab named Aileron.
When telling people his name we have received a variety of blank stares to comments like "oh that's quite a mouthful". My husband named him the dog that's all I can say.......lol. Actually many of the members of our family are pilots or airplane enthusiasts and since an aileron is part of a plane the name is fitting. We are also extremely cautious naming pets after having a dog for many years and then adopting an 8 year old with the same name. We aren't planning on adopting again but just in case I hope we don't meet a child named Aileron.
The goal for this puppy is to be a family service dog for whoever needs help at the time. We do have 2 other dogs but at 9 and 13 years they are getting tired. Since arriving Aileron has been traveling with us to therapy appointments and therapeutic horse back riding. He has been drawing a lot of attention and is loving all the attention he is getting. I am enjoying the fact that my children that don't like speaking to people are eager to tell people about their new pet and are being pushed to interact.
One of the goals we have for him when he is older is to attend agility classes with a few of our children. The thought is that this will help the children become more confident in giving commands/directions, exercise both participants and be a non therapeutic fun activity. A couple struggle with confidence so we are hoping the practice of giving commands or saying something like they mean it will transfer to day to day life. Social interaction is also a challenge so with the main focus being on the animal we hope that this may expand their interaction with humans in a non threatening way. Another benefit is this is an exercise that can be done from a wheelchair (depending on location) that looks like fun.
shared at http://richfaithrising.blogspot.ca/
When telling people his name we have received a variety of blank stares to comments like "oh that's quite a mouthful". My husband named him the dog that's all I can say.......lol. Actually many of the members of our family are pilots or airplane enthusiasts and since an aileron is part of a plane the name is fitting. We are also extremely cautious naming pets after having a dog for many years and then adopting an 8 year old with the same name. We aren't planning on adopting again but just in case I hope we don't meet a child named Aileron.
The goal for this puppy is to be a family service dog for whoever needs help at the time. We do have 2 other dogs but at 9 and 13 years they are getting tired. Since arriving Aileron has been traveling with us to therapy appointments and therapeutic horse back riding. He has been drawing a lot of attention and is loving all the attention he is getting. I am enjoying the fact that my children that don't like speaking to people are eager to tell people about their new pet and are being pushed to interact.
One of the goals we have for him when he is older is to attend agility classes with a few of our children. The thought is that this will help the children become more confident in giving commands/directions, exercise both participants and be a non therapeutic fun activity. A couple struggle with confidence so we are hoping the practice of giving commands or saying something like they mean it will transfer to day to day life. Social interaction is also a challenge so with the main focus being on the animal we hope that this may expand their interaction with humans in a non threatening way. Another benefit is this is an exercise that can be done from a wheelchair (depending on location) that looks like fun.
shared at http://richfaithrising.blogspot.ca/
Friday, 18 April 2014
Something to remind me
If I had a photograph of you
It's something to remind me
I wouldn't spend my life just wishing
Lyrics from "Wishing" by "A Flock of Seagulls"
If you were to ask a group of people "what one thing would you save from our home in event of an emergency, after people and pets?" I bet photos would be a popular response. Family photos are some of the most important objects to us especially as time passes by. We frequently take photos for granted only realizing the importance when it is to late. A loved one may pass away or life may not be as busy and we want to reminisce about the good times.
When parenting and even more so when parenting children with special needs life gets extremely busy. Life can also be difficult for your child and maybe you don't want pictures reminding you of the difficulties. Maybe taking photos is just one more thing on your never ending list that easily gets overlooked. It is extremely important to take the time to document your families lives with photos while you still have the opportunity.
Having adopted multiple children over the years we have seen first hand the upset and disappointment of not having pictures of their past. From just the general curiosity of what they looked like to the requiring a photo of themselves for a school assignment photos are important.
When we are at an activity or outing we take pictures, lots and lots of pictures! We start taking them almost the second we arrive at the activity. By taking many pictures there is a good chance of getting at least one or two happy ones.
Some of our children have some pretty significant challenges which makes going out difficult for them and we don't want their childhood remembered as tears and meltdowns. When we get the tears and meltdowns we cut the event short so that the majority of the time is thought of positively. So we try extremely hard to capture that happy moment even if it's just one second and yes we have pictures of the sad ones also.
We use these happy pictures for social stories for the next outing, we also use them for reminiscing about the outing or activity. Quite often after what we think was a negative outing our children come home saving how much fun it was and want to do "it" again so having one or two happy photos is important.
Go dust off your camera, charge up the battery, and take some pictures of your family. They don't need to be perfect, you just need to capture the moments.
It's something to remind me
I wouldn't spend my life just wishing
Lyrics from "Wishing" by "A Flock of Seagulls"
If you were to ask a group of people "what one thing would you save from our home in event of an emergency, after people and pets?" I bet photos would be a popular response. Family photos are some of the most important objects to us especially as time passes by. We frequently take photos for granted only realizing the importance when it is to late. A loved one may pass away or life may not be as busy and we want to reminisce about the good times.
When parenting and even more so when parenting children with special needs life gets extremely busy. Life can also be difficult for your child and maybe you don't want pictures reminding you of the difficulties. Maybe taking photos is just one more thing on your never ending list that easily gets overlooked. It is extremely important to take the time to document your families lives with photos while you still have the opportunity.
Having adopted multiple children over the years we have seen first hand the upset and disappointment of not having pictures of their past. From just the general curiosity of what they looked like to the requiring a photo of themselves for a school assignment photos are important.
When we are at an activity or outing we take pictures, lots and lots of pictures! We start taking them almost the second we arrive at the activity. By taking many pictures there is a good chance of getting at least one or two happy ones.
Some of our children have some pretty significant challenges which makes going out difficult for them and we don't want their childhood remembered as tears and meltdowns. When we get the tears and meltdowns we cut the event short so that the majority of the time is thought of positively. So we try extremely hard to capture that happy moment even if it's just one second and yes we have pictures of the sad ones also.
We use these happy pictures for social stories for the next outing, we also use them for reminiscing about the outing or activity. Quite often after what we think was a negative outing our children come home saving how much fun it was and want to do "it" again so having one or two happy photos is important.
Go dust off your camera, charge up the battery, and take some pictures of your family. They don't need to be perfect, you just need to capture the moments.
Shared at http://www.lovethatmax.com/
http://www.faithfulmomof9.com/
http://theadoptionsocial.com/category/weekly-adoption-shout-out/
http://hdydi.com/
http://www.raisingmemories.com/
http://mrsteelovelifelaughter.com/2014/04/bunny-worries-mommy-monday-blog-hop-still-hopping/
http://richfaithrising.blogspot.ca/2014/04/our-newest-foster-child-and-waiting-on.html
http://www.geminiredcreations.com/throwback-thursday-weekly-link-42414/
Wednesday, 16 April 2014
Fish hatchery field trip
We have been raising salmon eggs that are now fry, as a culmination of our learning we went to a local fish hatchery and participated in a 3 part presentation with other members of our homeschooling community. Upon arrival we were divided into 3 groups and went through various stations.
The first station we attended was "ocean food web" at this station we learned how plants, animals, fish and the sun interact in nature's food web. We were given different cards which included the sun, plankton, barnacles, herring, salmon, whales, eagles, etc. and learned how all these need one another for life. To reinforce the "web" idea we had a string that was passed from one person to another connecting the different needs ie. plankton is food for herring, herring for salmon, salmon for whales.
Then we went on a "forest walk/fry release" to learn about the various native plants and how they contribute to the rivers ecosystem. We each released some Chum fry into the stream after learning what traits are needed for survival of the fry.
The last station was "aquatic insects/invertebrate" where we studied various insects that live in the waters around us. At the end of the class we caught insects from the touch tank, studied and identified the bugs with the aid of a magnifying glass then returned them to the tank.
What a fun day of learning, spent outside in the sun with our friends.
shared at http://www.weirdunsocializedhomeschoolers.com/weekly-wrap-up-the-spring-break-edition/
http://www.hiphomeschoolmoms.com/2014/04/hhms-favorite-posts-hip-homeschool-hop-41514/
The first station we attended was "ocean food web" at this station we learned how plants, animals, fish and the sun interact in nature's food web. We were given different cards which included the sun, plankton, barnacles, herring, salmon, whales, eagles, etc. and learned how all these need one another for life. To reinforce the "web" idea we had a string that was passed from one person to another connecting the different needs ie. plankton is food for herring, herring for salmon, salmon for whales.
shared at http://www.weirdunsocializedhomeschoolers.com/weekly-wrap-up-the-spring-break-edition/
http://www.hiphomeschoolmoms.com/2014/04/hhms-favorite-posts-hip-homeschool-hop-41514/
Sunday, 13 April 2014
A gold and 2 silvers
This weekend 2 of our children competed in a first aid competition that had multiple scenarios. These 2 have been members of St John Ambulance for a few years and have been progressing with their skills over the years. When the oldest first joined she was extremely shy and suffered terribly with anxiety and obsessive compulsive disorder(OCD), her anxiety and OCD was so debilitating that it limited her ability to participate in almost everything. With time, patience and a lot of work she has overcome a lot, today she was able to lead her first aid team as they won 2 silver medals.
It was a "gold medal" for the younger of the 2 and her team. This was the first medal she has ever won, they hadn't even finished calling her name and she was up on that stage ready to accept her medal. When she got home she bounded up the stairs with such excitement recounting the first aid scenario and showing everyone her medal.
Three other siblings also attended this competition as spectators and casualties. Being a casualty is exciting as there is a make up crew that makes you look as if you have life like injuries and you get to put all your effort into your acting skills.
A club like St John Ambulance that teaches and practices first aid week after week is great especially for children that need structure and routine. They are taught first aid progressively and practice building routines, yes the scenario changes but the steps remain the same. In our family with so many medically complex children having just about everyone with first aid skills is a huge benefit. It is true that not all can independently put these skills to work when required but as with any group there are leaders and they can encourage followers or know how to handle distractions.
It was a "gold medal" for the younger of the 2 and her team. This was the first medal she has ever won, they hadn't even finished calling her name and she was up on that stage ready to accept her medal. When she got home she bounded up the stairs with such excitement recounting the first aid scenario and showing everyone her medal.
Three other siblings also attended this competition as spectators and casualties. Being a casualty is exciting as there is a make up crew that makes you look as if you have life like injuries and you get to put all your effort into your acting skills.
A club like St John Ambulance that teaches and practices first aid week after week is great especially for children that need structure and routine. They are taught first aid progressively and practice building routines, yes the scenario changes but the steps remain the same. In our family with so many medically complex children having just about everyone with first aid skills is a huge benefit. It is true that not all can independently put these skills to work when required but as with any group there are leaders and they can encourage followers or know how to handle distractions.
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